Weekend ...

11/16/08 - pulled a tard move today on keeping my caloric intake steady....

8am: vegetables and fruit supplement (30 cals)
9am: 1/2 egg white omellette w/ diced portuguese sausage & 1 1/2 sausage links (400 cals) & 2 cups of coffee (60 cals)
1:30pm: Wendy's chicken cesar salad (330 cals)
7:35pm: veggie and fruit supplement (30 cals)
running low....need more calories...I think I'll do a chicken salad sandwich....totally brain farted on keeping my calories at a steady pace
11:13pm: chicken salad sandwich (500 cals) breaking the rule I know but I'm light headed and gotta keep the caloric intake steady but no fried foods!

11/15/08 - Ok broke down and of course had a bacon breakfast burrito or what 5.0 calls, 'Heaven wrapped in a tortilla'....I must have had a dream last night of those things falling down from the sky landing all around me cuz I woke up with bacon breakfast burritos on the brain for my first meal...but alas....I could not cheat myself another meal.

4am: bacon breakfast burrito (390 cals)
9am: veggie & fruit supplement (30 cals) + strawberry yogurt (100 cals)
12:15pm: turkey wheat wrap (300 cals) + 1/2 chicken cesar salad (247 cals)
7:30pm: chicken salad sandwich on wheat (500 cals)
Total: 1567 cals

My slambook of nutrition...days 2, 3, 4, & 5

For those of you old enough to remember the concept of biker shorts as casual wear, members' only jackets, Vanilla Ice, parachute pants, "Welcome to the Jungle", words like "cyke", and 'Weird Science' will know the idea behind a slambook. Well this past week has been pretty hard on not falling back to old habits of eating past 8pm and eating whatever is around without thinking of the health debt I incur. The term, "Health Debt", is a term I coined to measure the detriment to a proper diet, in this case, in Calories. For the goals I set at the beginning of the week, my recommended daily caloric intake is 1600 calories. So far its been ok but DAAAAAAMN!!! Filipino cooking is sooooo good! FOOOD GREASE!!! As my vietnamese buddies would say, "GIOT DANG DAT GUD!" and oh don't get me started about Pho...because Pho is the king of soups! Pho King good!

So my diet slambook goes as follows w/ commentary:

11/14/08: day 5 of this crap....and then the big test of downtown San Diego...no alcohol and no eating after 8pm. I think whoever is out to get me will make their strongest strike tonight! CURSE YOU!!! I NEED THE KING OF SOUPS! I NEED PHO KING!

1. 8:30am - Fruit & Veggie Supplement (30 cals)
2. 10am - V8 (70 cals)
3. 1pm - PF Changs: green tea; salmon; brown rice; brocolli; shrimp; tofu; asparagus; banana rolls (800 cals)

11/13/08: Ok those peanut butter cookies are still there....JUST STARING AT ME! I took one out but then smashed it cuz I swore it started talking shit, "What are you gonna do just stare? You pussy! Eat me!" Things are getting darker and darker each day.....I can't find my happy place....Help me!

1. 10am - V8 (70 cals); Fruit & Veggie Supplement (30 cals) Ok this is bullshit...I feel like a rabbit....maybe I'll check and see if my droppings are starting to look like pellets too!
2. 12:35pm - Tuna Greek Salad (129 cals); Tuna Croissant (582 cals); Large Toffee Nut Soy Latte (350 cals) Ok this was good but I'm done as far as calories today....
3. 7:30pm - Protein shake w/4 strawberries (220 cals) still tastes like veggie feces...
4. Total Cals: 1381 I'm dying....tell my wife and kids I love them.....Oh the HUMANITY!!
   

11/12/08: Ok not so bad this morning but how the hell did a box of peanut butter cookies and danishes show up on the counter??!!! I think someone is out to get me....

1. 9:15a - V8 (70 cals) + Fruit & Veg supplement (30 cals) Ok this veggie shit aint too bad...
2. 1:30pm - Chicken Ceasar Salad (491 cals); grilled chicken: 2 thighs (400 cals); 1 leg (90 cals); 1/2 serv of white (121 cals)
3. 7:30pm - protein shake w/4 strawberries (220 cals) yeah these shakes taste like shit...I remember why I still have a couple bags of this crap left....If veggies took a shit and then ground it up into a powder form then this is how it would taste...
4. Total: 1422 cals
   

11/11/08: Almost died today with this bullshit diet....F U proper nutrition!

1. 10:37am - V8 (70 cals) + Protein bar (190 cals)
2. 1pm - 8 oz pink salmon (184 cals), 1 serv. carrots (52 cals), 1 serv. white rice (242 cals)
3. 4:21pm - V8 (70 cals)
4. 5:45pm - sashimi x 7 pcs & 1 serv. rice (1000 cals)
5. Total for the day: 1808 cals

"What does Marcellus Wallace look like?!" -- Jules "B.M.F." Winfield

If Marcellus Wallace is an out of shape, 30+ year old, 5'9", no neck having, flip, then that would be me. So sticking with the greatest movie of all time, "I had what alcoholics refer to as a moment of clarity" last night. The Maniac was getting food while I was parked in the car facing her and these two scrubs come in to the mexican joint and start hitting on her. Immediately, my adrenaline shoots through my bloodstream, and I start to do what I've always done in situations like these and go through the process of taking off my watch, putting my wallet in a safe place. Its like I'm doing all this subconsciously while measuring up these 2 guys; who I'm gonna hit first and how; what weapons are readily available; close quarter; what areas will I strike first; how much damage to an area will I do first, etc. But then I pull back to see how Maniac is doing and she's handling it and not even sweating these dudes. I start to tell myself once I see that these fuck sticks disrespect her then I get to "workout". But it never happens. Maniac gets the food and we leave.

It takes a good 10 mins for the adrenaline to wear off before I can internally calm down. But as I asked myself, "What the hell man? You have a hot ass lady and scrubs are gonna try, especially if I'm not around," I came to this moment of clarity, "I am just too high strung. I need to channel this aggression into something more positive." And so, over the course of last night I put a plan together with objectives and steps. Here it is in its documented form: 2008

Objectives:

1. Walk around weight of 190 – 199 lbs
2. Run a mile under 7 mins
3. Benchpress 225 lbs 30 times
4. Earn my Purple Belt in Brazilian Jiu-jitsu by July 2009

The Plan:

1. Every morning when I wake up and before I go to sleep (20 pushups, 20 V-sit-ups, 20 air squats)
2. Every day a meal at least every 3 hours (Breakfast -9am; shake - noon; lunch - 3pm; Dinner - 6pm; shake - 9pm)
3. Every Monday & Wednesday (Striking: Bag work - Thai Drills w/ weight Vest set at 20 lbs - 45 mins + 5 mins of rope work; Cardio: 20 mins - rotate between Stairs, Treadmill, Elliptical, & Bike)
4. Every Tuesday & Thursday (Cycling at least 7 miles each day, pulling at least 30 lbs)
   Weight lift every Tuesday & Thursday (Strength training - Circuit Training)
5. Record for each meal (Total Calories, grams of Protein, grams of carbs)
6. Keep caloric intake to 1600 cals
   

Rules:

1. No alcohol
2. No soda
3. No Fried Foods
4. No meals or snacks between 9pm - 8am daily!
5. Every day/workout missed will be made up the next day in addition to the already scheduled workout
   

This is the start of a new day!

Today's food so far....

1. 9 am: 1 can of V8 juice (70 cals), 2 cups of green tea, 8 oz of water, 16 oz of protein shake (140 cals)
2. 1:47pm: meatballs, brocolli, rice bowl (250 cals)
3. 5:10pm: banana berry replacement shake (250 cals)
4. 7pm: 2 thighs; 2 servs of rice, diced chicken 1 serv, sour cream, guacamole (750 cals)

Total Cals for 11/10: 1490 cals

"Like Atkins but with Carbs" -- BJ Penn

Puff Puff ... sweat! So I'm trying to keep up with my lady on all the cardio shizzy she's doing, and in my infinite wisdom I decide "hey lets go on the treadmill but with my plastics on." Yeah...about that, if you don't care about almost passing out and no one finding your rotting fat ass for a couple of days then by all means give it a shot! Its GORGEOUS! Working out is definitely not fun...but it is a means to being able to fight longer, balanced with a nutritious diet of course. So yeah, I make the mental note of instituting the "Do not eat anything after 8pm" rule...but after downing that plate of rice, pancit (noodles for you crackas), and some flip meat sauce something with carrots stew thing at 9:14pm I decided to try that diet tomorrow. And just to make myself feel better I had a protein shake with an apple danish thing! HEY! You need to eat carbs to burn them! So really, today I will work on that not eating after 8pm shit. Which means I gotta cram all that nutritious pizza, pasta, soda, and caffeine early in the morning. I want to meet whoever created that rule just to see if they are a fit person cuz if they're not, and they're just some Hometown Buffet eatin mutha fucca, then I can point and laugh and say, "Both of you were wrong! That shit doesn't work!" So kids, if you are reading this (whether you are mine or not) dont do plastics when you're running!

I drink because my kids cry...

So I'm home sick today, while still trying to work on some project shizzy and bam! Maximus runs up the stairs bare-assed with Leibear following behind yelling, "He gotta poo! I SAID HE GOTTA POO!"

Just simply awesome! So, for those bible following peeps and believers of the whole Adam & Eve story (the origin of man story not the Adult Video company), the woman was created to serve man and the woman was then punished for eating from the tree of knowledge with childbirth. What wasn't said, was that man was also punished for following the woman by having to listen to women talk about the most illogical things. Guys, if you dare, sit there and when your lady gets home ask her, ask her how her day went and what she did and you will know what i'm talking about. Ok sorry ADHD kicking in again! OOOO! Whats that? SHINY! Where were we...oh yeah alcoholism by kids. So I put Maximus on the porcelein poop eater and right off the bat he stares up and lets a huge one rip while laughing! My boy!

As for the recent onset of alcoholism, last night was insane asylumville. The Tim Sylvia of Scene It goes out to do some chick fondue shizzy with her sister, DeeDee, and her girl Michigan. She takes off and I'm there finishing the final scoops to Tygie and Kikai, while trying to cook (and by cook, I'm ordering Papa Johns). Then just like that krickity kraow! the twins go into their best Axl Rose "Welcome to the Jungle" screams!!! And on cue Maximus and Leibear start on the WE HUNGRY! FEED US! YOU SUPPOSED TO BE A GOOD DAD! rant about food. The whole house is immersed in crying, whining, and nagging. I basically stop and think, "Makers Mark sounds good right now." As the fellas would say, "Sounds like your whining...boo freakin hoo!" And ya I am, I mentally tapped out that night... Kids are undefeated vs their dad. Loser drinks!

Trying this sh!t out...

So my lady started a blog and of course I'm gonna follow with a version of my own to refute or reinforce what people already think of me.

This blog is not for the squeamish or easily offended!